


Maedhros

by actuallyfeanor



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Long poem, Poetry, Silmarillion retelling, this is 29 stanzas and it's all angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 00:31:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16074620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyfeanor/pseuds/actuallyfeanor
Summary: All the things Maedhros, in the last few moments of his life, would have said to Fëanor. Written as a poem. It even rhymes.





	Maedhros

I still recall the day you fell  
The fire as your spirit flew  
Now, one last time, I follow you  
It ends in fire for me as well

Perhaps your quietus did portend  
I too by flames should be consumed  
We burnt too brightly and were doomed  
To burn to ashes in the end

Such fervour in our element  
The will and power to survive  
And gloriously be alive!  
But now, at last, I'm tired and spent

I walked the path laid out for me  
Yet how was I supposed to know  
When all began an age ago  
That it would lead to tragedy

With all your cunning and your skills,  
In light of the Undying Lands,  
You laboured long, with crafty hands  
constructing shining Silmarils

Now, basking in that borrowed light  
You kept the jewels out of sight  
'Till Morgoth foul, in all his spite,  
Plunged Aman into endless night

Rebellious and blazing bright,  
You spoke about the jewels fair  
To all who were assembled there  
Asserting they were yours by right

Then in the darkened Valinor  
A dark and dreadful oath we swore  
"Pursued shall be until the end  
The elf or maia, foe or friend

Whose treachery and evil will  
Would keep from us our Silmarils  
May everlasting darkness take  
Us if we dare this oath to break"

And into exile we took flight,  
Committing an atrocious sin:  
The slaying of Teleri kin  
We took by force their swan-ships white

Above us there did Mandos loom  
Pronouncing words of prophecy  
In punishment for treachery  
He cursed us with the darkest doom

At last we crossed the ocean wide  
And in the madness of your mind  
You left our kindred all behind  
There standing on the other side

Alas, for those who did not sail  
The Helcaraxë, Grinding Ice  
Lay ready to exact its price  
Unyielding hearts, they did not quail

At Losgar flames were blazing high  
Long past the point of no return  
We stood and watched the white ships burn  
The ashes darkening the sky

You led us onwards, wild and fey  
Enemies shrank before your blade  
Yet in the very end you paid  
For fire and fervour in the fray

Though you were gone, our oath remained  
In waking or in restless sleep  
Reminding us of vows to keep  
And blood with which our hands were stained

Time after time we made a stand  
We took up arms to no avail  
In agony I saw us fail  
I kept my life, though short a hand

Still worse: the never-ending pain,  
The sorrow, loss of brothers slain  
Of battles fought and lost in vain,  
An endless war with nought to gain

But oh, we tried and tried again  
In bitter cold, in scalding heat,  
In sudden flame one more defeat  
Thus years of siege came to an end

A Union great as none before  
An army with the strength to make  
The Black Foe on his black throne quake  
We faced the dark and went to war

And even then we were betrayed  
A traitor from within our ranks  
The enemy on both our flanks  
Momentum lost, our force delayed

From Gondolin with shining spears  
Marched Turgon, yet too late to save  
His brother Fingon, bold and brave  
A fitting name, Unnumbered Tears

In forest green, 'neath new-sprung leaf  
In kingly halls of Menegroth  
The very ground, by war and wrath,  
Stained red with blood, awash with grief

I think upon the ones I lost  
All those I vowed I'd not forget  
My heart is heavy with regret  
Our struggle had too great a cost

No use in blaming it on you  
My actions are no cause of pride  
I held my tongue and stood aside  
With kinsmen's blood on my hands too

I reap the fruits of what I've sown,  
Of death, destruction, bitter hate,  
Now I am free to meet my fate  
My life was yours; my death my own

At times I tried to be like you,  
Though always but a paler shade,  
When you won fame for what you made,  
And I for what I failed to do

For every failure I have paid  
With sleepless nights and boundless grief  
I lay my load down with relief  
And face the darkness unafraid

The molten earth shall be my shroud  
When finally I'm laid to rest  
I've given all, I did my best  
My father, have I made you proud?


End file.
